On ‘Not Writing to Commission’…
As we settle into another protracted period of lockdown in the UK (and in many other parts of the world as well) I thought it might be a good time to have another look at the strange circumstances that currently surround the profession in which I work and how this is effecting me as a creative artist. When I wrote about isolation and creativity in April 2020 there was a certain amount of novelty and optimism about the lockdown, a rare opportunity to take some time and to concentrate on one’s art or to learn a new skill and to return to the creative world with renewed vigour and purpose in the autumn. Of course, much has changed since then and though there is light at the end of the tunnel with the various vaccines that clever people around the world have been working on, the prognosis for being a composer and for live music in the coming months is bleak at best – the novelty has well and truly worn thin and the promise of regular, high-quality music-making seems as distant as it did in the optimistic days of lockdown number one. Now, I’m not here to whinge about governments or conspiracies, but to draw attention to a direct consequence of all this…for the first time in roughly fifteen years I’ve run out of things to write!
Now, you may be thinking that as a composer I can never run out of things to write, as long as I still draw breath and can conjure up notes I can write music. This is of course a fact, but the real truth is that I no longer have any commissions to fulfil: there is currently no one wanting me to write them any music for a specified concert or occasion in the not-too-distant future. It’s an odd feeling. Since finishing my PhD I’ve composed slowly, but regularly and always with a commission, concert or project in mind – this is how I have operated as a creative artist, working to briefs, deadlines and other parameters to create new music. I haven’t always had a full waiting list of interested parties, but the natural ebb and flow of work has kept me busy and content for the majority of my professional life. But not now, and in the circumstances it is hardly a surprise, the decimation of live classical music performance was bound to have a knock-on effect on those who create it, and January 2021 appears to be when I have finally felt these effects in earnest.
Of course, I could lie and say how busy I am and how I’m clearing a backlog of pieces and commissions before starting on works for 2022, 2023 and further into the future - but that would be a lie. There are some projects earmarked for further down the line, but they are so amorphous at the moment it wouldn’t be worth my time trying to shape them into something more tangible. For the first time since I was 27, there is no music that needs to be written, no person or choir who will be unhappy if I don’t produce something on time and no cheque waiting for me in the post.
The main reason for this is of course the lack of the staples of my profession: the performance, recording and broadcasting of new music by choirs and ensembles – this just isn’t happening (well, maybe it is New Zealand, but certainly not in the UK). Groups aren’t commissioning new pieces as they still have to perform existing commissions from 2020 (or maybe, pessimistically, even 2021), festivals have full programmes from 2020 that might see the light of day this year, but might have to wait for 2022 – the trickle-down of this being there are commissions for 2020, 2021 and possibly 2022 sat in transit, waiting for a better day. As it happens, I have nearly 50 minutes of music that was due for premiere in 2020 that is waiting for that better day…hopefully it will be this year…hopefully. Another reason for this lack of work is the inertia on my part to promote my pieces, to reach out to groups, ensembles and festivals to see whether new music is desired. With live music not currently happening, what is the point of trying to get people interested in commissioning some more? Would that be a good use of anyone’s time?
Of course, I could just compose for the joy of composing and creating new art, some people do that, and they do it very well, in fact it is why they compose – they just have to do it. But as I’ve said before, that isn’t me, I can only write music if there is a verifiable realisation of the piece on the cards – there has to be a purpose, or an end product, not just the joy of the compositional process. And if I’m honest, with 50 minutes of music awaiting performance, do I really want to add another 50 minutes that I subsequently have to hawk around the musical world?
I know the situation will change and brighter days will return, and despite all the difficulties in the creative world, things are still happening and the reason to create new music will return to me. But for the moment I am keeping myself busy being creative writing emails, clearing the attic, painting the kitchen – usual domestic stuff. And if there is anything that gives me solace it is that even the most successful composers and artists will soon reach the same juncture as me – there is nothing left to write. For the moment.
PAC